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Discussion on: How can you say “no” to an invitation if you have no good excuse?

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Sachita_Bhattarai

Working peoples’ life is very busy. They have to say “no” to some big projects, parties, get together, etc. At such situation, one finds it very hard to say “No” to their boss as they might take it rudely and find inappropriate. Politeness is the one key to say “no” in a good way. Politeness in requests is a communication strategy the speaker uses to achieve goals, choosing the level of politeness based on the relative imposition involved in the request. It is important to use the right level of politeness (Said, 2011).

Here are the following ways to say “no” to an invitation:

1. Respond in Like

When you receive an invitation, you need to respond in a timely manner as well as in a like manner. For example, whenever we are selected for the written examination in a bank. The bank send us an email conforming our response if we are going to attend the exam or not. This will help them to allocate seats according to the candidates attending the exam.

Similarly, at weddings or dinner party, people do RSVP to an event. The earlier you decline the invitation, the earlier host can invite someone else in your place. This kind of response is highly appreciated and someone else can get the opportunity to attend the dinner. Sending a response or saying “no” via e-mail may seem rude to the inviter.

2. Thanks the host for the invite

Instead of directly saying ‘no’, you can always begin your response by thanking the inviter for inviting. For dinner and party invitations, you should always begin with some version of “Thank you so much for your invitation” (Everyday Health, 2018).

For example:

(Wrong): I wish I could, but I cannot attend your birthday today.

(Correct): Thanks for thinking of me, but I have other commitments today. Let’s make a plan for some other day.

Saying “thank you so much for inviting us” lets your pal know that you care that they thought of you and minimizes any rejection that they may feel (Lamberg, 2018).

3. Provides an Honest Explanation When Possible

People always believes in honest people. Honesty toward strangers can be considered an important norm of any given society (Stephen Mark Rosenbaum, 2014). Always try to give short and to the point explanation for the reason behind your “no”. Overdoing it will show that you are trying to come up with excuses.

For example, you are invited for attending a rice feeding ceremony of your friend but you have already planned to go out with your wife. In such case, you can genuinely and honestly explain to your friend the reason.

4. Consider Sending a Gift

If you bring gifts while attending any birthday parties, marriage then consider sending gifts to the host. For a dinner party, you can send a bottle of wine with notes expressing your regrets on not attending, on a birthday you could send some lily’s or white roses. By sending a gift you are showing the importance of the event and you are unfortunate for not being able to attend it.

5. Follow Up

Follow up means showing your interest for the event to be successful even if you are not attending it. Emails, calls or messages helps you to show concern to the hostess and show your interest on getting invitation in the future.

References

Everyday Health. (2018). 5 Steps to Politely Declining Invitations . Retrieved from 5 Steps to Politely Declining Invitations: everydayhealth.com/healthy-living-...

Lamberg, E. (2018). This is the Only Way You Should Say “No” to an Invite . Retrieved from Reader’s Digest: rd.com/advice/relationships/how-to...

Said, N. E. (2011). Politeness Strategies in Requests: The Case of Elfhoul Speech Community.

Stephen Mark Rosenbaum, S. B. (2014). Let’s be honest: A review of experimental evidence of honesty and truth-telling. Journal of Economic Psychology, Vol. 45 , 181-196.