According to Dr. Montgomery, "We confuse [saying ‘yes’] with being polite. We are often frightened by how other people will react if we don’t meet their requests. (Ryan, 2016)” People have a behaviour where they want to please others and so cannot say no outright. Many people fall victim to this behaviour and enter into the unwanted zone of having to do something that they are unwilling to do or are even counterproductive just because they cannot say no.
Joice Russel in her article on women saying no in workplace informs readers on saying a direct no to be more effective rather than over talking and explain the point. "Be wary of tricks. Watch out for people who flatter you to get you to do something, guilt you into it, whine so much that you finally do it just to get them to stop whining or those who bully you to do something. Practice. Be direct when saying no. Don’t over talk the point, and don’t be wishy-washy. (Russell, 2013)”
According to Dr. Montgomery, “Every now and then you have to say ‘no’ to someone - ‘I can’t do that this week’ or ‘I can’t do that this year, I’m already booked out’. You owe it to yourself to say no to impossible or unreasonable requests. (Ryan, 2016)”
On the other hand, Anne Stein’s cover of a book by William Ury’s "The Power of a Positive No, How to Say No and Still Get to Yes” explains three step to say a positive no. She explains, for a positive no you first need to explain and say yes to what is important to you. You follow this with a no and then end it with a yes. This invites the other party to reach a favourable agreement which fulfils both your needs. For example if your boss call you to work on a holiday you follow the three steps and say "My family needs me on the holidays. I won’t be working on holidays. Why don’t we find a new way to get the work done when I spend time with family?” (Stein, 2007)
If you feel uncomfortable with the direct ‘no’ then you can use a ‘positive no.’ Start with a yes, follow it with a no and end it with a yes. But since you do not have an excuse, making one up would be lying which would be ethically wrong and it is not right to deceive just to avoid and invite.
If you do not have an excuse to not go then using a direct no would be better, rather than beating around the bush. Deliver a direct ‘No’ saying I will not come.
Reference
Russell, J. E. (2013, Dec 9). CAREER COACH | Why women tend not to say no in the workplace, and how they can change that. The Washington Post . Retrieved from proxy.lirn.net/MuseProxyID=mp02/Mu...
Ryan, C. (2016, Jan 25). Goal setting: How to say ‘no’ to others to say ‘yes’ to your goals: For many of us, “no” is the hardest word to say, but looking after yourself and achieving your goals, depends on it. ABC Premium News; Sydney . Retrieved from proxy.lirn.net/MuseProxyID=mp02/Mu...
According to Dr. Montgomery, "We confuse [saying ‘yes’] with being polite. We are often frightened by how other people will react if we don’t meet their requests. (Ryan, 2016)” People have a behaviour where they want to please others and so cannot say no outright. Many people fall victim to this behaviour and enter into the unwanted zone of having to do something that they are unwilling to do or are even counterproductive just because they cannot say no.
Joice Russel in her article on women saying no in workplace informs readers on saying a direct no to be more effective rather than over talking and explain the point. "Be wary of tricks. Watch out for people who flatter you to get you to do something, guilt you into it, whine so much that you finally do it just to get them to stop whining or those who bully you to do something. Practice. Be direct when saying no. Don’t over talk the point, and don’t be wishy-washy. (Russell, 2013)”
According to Dr. Montgomery, “Every now and then you have to say ‘no’ to someone - ‘I can’t do that this week’ or ‘I can’t do that this year, I’m already booked out’. You owe it to yourself to say no to impossible or unreasonable requests. (Ryan, 2016)”
On the other hand, Anne Stein’s cover of a book by William Ury’s "The Power of a Positive No, How to Say No and Still Get to Yes” explains three step to say a positive no. She explains, for a positive no you first need to explain and say yes to what is important to you. You follow this with a no and then end it with a yes. This invites the other party to reach a favourable agreement which fulfils both your needs. For example if your boss call you to work on a holiday you follow the three steps and say "My family needs me on the holidays. I won’t be working on holidays. Why don’t we find a new way to get the work done when I spend time with family?” (Stein, 2007)
If you feel uncomfortable with the direct ‘no’ then you can use a ‘positive no.’ Start with a yes, follow it with a no and end it with a yes. But since you do not have an excuse, making one up would be lying which would be ethically wrong and it is not right to deceive just to avoid and invite.
If you do not have an excuse to not go then using a direct no would be better, rather than beating around the bush. Deliver a direct ‘No’ saying I will not come.
Reference
Russell, J. E. (2013, Dec 9). CAREER COACH | Why women tend not to say no in the workplace, and how they can change that. The Washington Post . Retrieved from proxy.lirn.net/MuseProxyID=mp02/Mu...
Ryan, C. (2016, Jan 25). Goal setting: How to say ‘no’ to others to say ‘yes’ to your goals: For many of us, “no” is the hardest word to say, but looking after yourself and achieving your goals, depends on it. ABC Premium News; Sydney . Retrieved from proxy.lirn.net/MuseProxyID=mp02/Mu...
Stein, A. E. (2007, April). 5 THINGS WE LEARNED FROM. Chiacgo Tribune . Retrieved from proxy.lirn.net/MuseProxyID=mp02/Mu...